my diet is awesome

In the past hour or so I've had the following (in order):

• Three Newman's Own Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups (I'd try out Reese's Dark if there was a store in Charlottesville that carried them)
• One 20 oz. bottle of Coke Zero (this one and the previous one at the same time, on the way back from the grocery store)
• Two Wild Grape Pop Tarts (wayyyyyyy too sweet, holy fuck they need to lay off the god damned frosting)
• Eight T.G.I. Friday's Honey BBQ Wings ($wetnaps -= 2;)
• One Cracker Barrel Extra Sharp White Cheddar cheese snack (I accidentally got white cheddar instead of regular, but the regular ones aren't extra sharp... I know "sharp" and "extra sharp" are subjective terms, and the "extra sharp" white cheddar doesn't taste sharp at all, but still...)
• One 12 oz. can of Cherry Coke Zero (still working on it, actually)

And now I'm about to open these Snyder's Jalapeño Cheddar Pumpernickel Pretzel Sandwiches.