fap somewhere else

Does <insert name of roommate here> really think I can't see him over there fapping?  Does he think his current activity is made less obvious if he's wearing a shirt to cover it up?  I can see your arm moving, <insert name of roommate here>, and you're not fooling anyone.  Come on, your computer's a fucking laptop, take it back to your fucking bedroom and fap there, where I don't have to see it.  I at least have the courtesy to fap in private where nobody else has to see me doing it.

2023 edit: someone with nothing better to do and a boner for censorship flagged this post as "sensitive content".