Geez, I move back into my parents' place because I'm a failure at life and the job market around here is impossible, and I can't even get through the first fucking night without my mom creeping on me.
Imagine, if you will, you're sitting on the toilet taking a dump. Because it's midnight and your parents are asleep, you've left the door open. Now imagine a hand suddenly coming around the edge of the door frame and knocking on the door trim INSIDE the bathroom.
...yeah.
Don't do that again, mom. I can't promise that there won't be bodily harm inflicted. No joke. And don't try to blame said bodily harm on me, because YOU'RE THE ONE CREEPING ME THE FUCK OUT. LEARN A THING OR TWO ABOUT BOUNDARIES AND THEN RESPECT THEM.
I'm not 5, I don't need to be "checked up on", so just stay the fuck asleep like good almost-senior-citizen parents and let me be. That's all I ask. To be honest, I'd rather be back at the apartment being an unwilling witness to one of my roommates fapping or picking his nose then eating the result. I don't think he ever did both of those at the same time.
I'm sleeping with the door locked.
Edit (2014-07-16): Got somewhat of an apology and a begrudging promise to never do it ever again. We'll see what happens.
