I can really only focus on one thing at a time. Occasionally I can work in a second thing in some free time from doing the first thing, but it's always very clearly shoehorned into whatever schedule I've set up.
Case in point: I feel like all of my effort right now has to go into maintaining my weight, to the point that I don't feel like it leaves enough time for me to have a job. I currently have the desire for my hypothetical job to be one that keeps me active, but with the way corporate America is set up, I won't be able to make enough money to live on my own in the city that I'd be working in with such a job. Because, you know, apparently people whose jobs involve constant physical exertion for 8 hours straight don't deserve to make a living wage. Or, apparently, nobody deserves to make a living wage, according to the rich, the elite, and the Republican.
Monday, May 15, 2017
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
some shit
I keep this kind of shit off of my other blog, but here it's totally fair game.
I kinda feel like I'm in a hole lately. Things are collapsing around me and I can't grab a hold and pull myself out. It's all small things that by themselves any dickcheese could look at and say "oh hey just do this problem solved", but in doing so, they miss the point.
I got a lot of shit weighing on my mind and it's overwhelming.
The only reason I'm able to really have fun is because I'm ignoring all the issues piling up. Every time I think about them my day just goes to shit.
So. Things that need to change, or otherwise need fixing:
I kinda feel like I'm in a hole lately. Things are collapsing around me and I can't grab a hold and pull myself out. It's all small things that by themselves any dickcheese could look at and say "oh hey just do this problem solved", but in doing so, they miss the point.
I got a lot of shit weighing on my mind and it's overwhelming.
The only reason I'm able to really have fun is because I'm ignoring all the issues piling up. Every time I think about them my day just goes to shit.
So. Things that need to change, or otherwise need fixing:
- I need a job.
- I need to move out of my parents' place (again).
- I need a car to call my own.
- My main computer died.
- My server died.
- I need a new system switcher for my consoles, the current one has flaky video connections (at the very least).
- I need to play the backlog of games I have piled up, rather than using it as a trophy that only ever gets bigger.
Saturday, March 25, 2017
Realizations
I'm surrounded by weeaboos.
These people have never had any decent level of exposure to any element of any culture other than Japanese manga, animation, and music.
>2017
>not knowing about or appreciating classic American rock
>only getting your entertainment with an audio language of Japanese
>acknowledging that you've shortchanged yourself by not having branched out, but still not branching out
Also is it me or are the majority of millennials also SJWs? Every fucking time I'm out with friends it's "that's probably racist" or "whitewashing" or "misogyny" or some other piece of fucking bullshit.
PROTIP: any time I hear any of the above quoted words/phrases, I immediately tune out the rest of what you have to say, because it's not worth my fucking time to listen to your drivel.
I guess it's my fault for surrounding myself with people that are 12+ years younger than me. I should "just get a job" and find friends my own age, I guess.
These people have never had any decent level of exposure to any element of any culture other than Japanese manga, animation, and music.
>2017
>not knowing about or appreciating classic American rock
>only getting your entertainment with an audio language of Japanese
>acknowledging that you've shortchanged yourself by not having branched out, but still not branching out
Also is it me or are the majority of millennials also SJWs? Every fucking time I'm out with friends it's "that's probably racist" or "whitewashing" or "misogyny" or some other piece of fucking bullshit.
PROTIP: any time I hear any of the above quoted words/phrases, I immediately tune out the rest of what you have to say, because it's not worth my fucking time to listen to your drivel.
I guess it's my fault for surrounding myself with people that are 12+ years younger than me. I should "just get a job" and find friends my own age, I guess.
Saturday, July 2, 2016
It happened.
A couple weeks ago, my dad sold the Civic out from under me. In the most conniving way possible, by refusing to help me get it to the point where it would pass inspection. The tires were worn too much and needed to be replaced, and the edge of the driver's seat belt needed to be trimmed and re-fused since it was fraying. Plus maybe brake pads, I dunno.
My complaints about the Toyota still go in one ear and out the other. I haven't driven anywhere since the day the Civic was sold, because I refuse to drive that death trap so long as it has its terrible combination of floaty suspension and incredibly stiff brake pedal. Front wheel drive cars already understeer enough as-is, the floaty suspension makes that worse by lengthening weight-shift time, and the nearly digital brake pedal exacerbates things by making it too easy to brake too much.
The rear view mirror, while present, is totally busted and can't be adjusted at all. If you try, it just falls back to wherever it wants to be, which is hardly a useful position.
Also, the gas pedal is there, obviously, because when I push it down the car goes, but I can't feel it underneath my foot. It offers no resistance at all.
I feel as though all of these are valid concerns that deserve consideration, but the only response I've gotten is "you'll just have to get used to it". My mom agrees with me about the rear view mirror, but there's been zero actual progress, so merely agreeing with me isn't really helping. Because they're terrible people, they assume that I intend to sit around while my dad does all this work. While I do feel as though part of getting rid of the Civic should have involved addressing these concerns so the transition would be a smooth one, never once have I refused to help.
The thing is, my parents expect me to be psychic. If one of them is doing something and they'd really like my help with it, I'm somehow just supposed to know they want my help. You know, while I'm in a completely separate part of the house. They make zero attempt to communicate these desires for assistance with me, and somehow I'm to blame for not helping. Because of this, I "don't do anything around the house". I actually started keeping track of everything I did around the house on a daily basis at one point, but when I revealed I was doing so, I was told that doing this was "childish".
Fuck my life.
My complaints about the Toyota still go in one ear and out the other. I haven't driven anywhere since the day the Civic was sold, because I refuse to drive that death trap so long as it has its terrible combination of floaty suspension and incredibly stiff brake pedal. Front wheel drive cars already understeer enough as-is, the floaty suspension makes that worse by lengthening weight-shift time, and the nearly digital brake pedal exacerbates things by making it too easy to brake too much.
The rear view mirror, while present, is totally busted and can't be adjusted at all. If you try, it just falls back to wherever it wants to be, which is hardly a useful position.
Also, the gas pedal is there, obviously, because when I push it down the car goes, but I can't feel it underneath my foot. It offers no resistance at all.
I feel as though all of these are valid concerns that deserve consideration, but the only response I've gotten is "you'll just have to get used to it". My mom agrees with me about the rear view mirror, but there's been zero actual progress, so merely agreeing with me isn't really helping. Because they're terrible people, they assume that I intend to sit around while my dad does all this work. While I do feel as though part of getting rid of the Civic should have involved addressing these concerns so the transition would be a smooth one, never once have I refused to help.
The thing is, my parents expect me to be psychic. If one of them is doing something and they'd really like my help with it, I'm somehow just supposed to know they want my help. You know, while I'm in a completely separate part of the house. They make zero attempt to communicate these desires for assistance with me, and somehow I'm to blame for not helping. Because of this, I "don't do anything around the house". I actually started keeping track of everything I did around the house on a daily basis at one point, but when I revealed I was doing so, I was told that doing this was "childish".
Fuck my life.
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
All I Want For Christmas Is Parents Who Aren't Assholes
So my dad is determined to get rid of the Civic. You know, the car I drive, that he doesn't. He considers all my opinions about the car he wants me to drive instead (a Toyota Corolla) to be invalid. There's no stopping him.
My mom is no better. She insulates him from my dissent and my overall negative opinion of him. She's his "yes man". Every time I have a criticism of him, it's me who needs to reconsider saying anything at all. When she does say anything at all on my behalf, it's watered down and incredibly sugarcoated. Never once has she been on my side when my dad and I have had a real dispute, though. He's always right, I'm always wrong.
Look, dad, I know you're butthurt that I still live with you. Antagonizing me at every turn isn't the way to get rid of me. If you want me to be there when you're in assisted living 20 years from now, you'd best start being nice to me now. Wait, no, never mind, 33 (and counting) years of being an asshole to me can't be made up by going back on a single poorly conceived decision.
Can I still be adopted, legally, by parents who aren't assholes?
Can somewhere around here hire me so I can move out and cut these douchenozzles out of my life once and for all?
I mean, I know Bodo's has the Now Hiring signs back up. But I'd rather not work there, given that my asshole parents go there every Tuesday evening for dinner. I feel like explaining why I'm open every evening but Tuesday would be a little weird.
Look for me on the news in a few days? Dunno. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My mom is no better. She insulates him from my dissent and my overall negative opinion of him. She's his "yes man". Every time I have a criticism of him, it's me who needs to reconsider saying anything at all. When she does say anything at all on my behalf, it's watered down and incredibly sugarcoated. Never once has she been on my side when my dad and I have had a real dispute, though. He's always right, I'm always wrong.
Look, dad, I know you're butthurt that I still live with you. Antagonizing me at every turn isn't the way to get rid of me. If you want me to be there when you're in assisted living 20 years from now, you'd best start being nice to me now. Wait, no, never mind, 33 (and counting) years of being an asshole to me can't be made up by going back on a single poorly conceived decision.
Can I still be adopted, legally, by parents who aren't assholes?
Can somewhere around here hire me so I can move out and cut these douchenozzles out of my life once and for all?
I mean, I know Bodo's has the Now Hiring signs back up. But I'd rather not work there, given that my asshole parents go there every Tuesday evening for dinner. I feel like explaining why I'm open every evening but Tuesday would be a little weird.
Look for me on the news in a few days? Dunno. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Hear that grinding noise?
That's me grinding to a halt on yet another job application. This one is online, but overall nowhere near as bad as Unicru.
What's the issue? References. Companies these days don't allow personal references, and I don't have any real professional references built up from all of my less-than-a-year periods of employment. I do have to wonder, how does one get started in a system that assumes that everyone participating has already been in it, and managed to STAY in it long enough to get references?
No, not buying it. Personal references have to be allowed.
I'm just going to put my dad and say that I worked with him at life or something. Basically a giant middle finger to the system.
What's the issue? References. Companies these days don't allow personal references, and I don't have any real professional references built up from all of my less-than-a-year periods of employment. I do have to wonder, how does one get started in a system that assumes that everyone participating has already been in it, and managed to STAY in it long enough to get references?
No, not buying it. Personal references have to be allowed.
I'm just going to put my dad and say that I worked with him at life or something. Basically a giant middle finger to the system.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
I dunno anymore, Part 2
So, I think I'm just going to have to force myself to watch these YouTube videos. The oldest video is flirting with being two weeks old currently. I just need to set aside time and get it done.
Also, I failed to mention in my last post that I haven't read any manga since November of last year. I still get the RSS updates from the manga reader website that I read things on, and I've bought and been gifted physical volumes of manga, but I haven't touched any of it. I have no explanation for this. I still like all the things I was reading, but I never get in the mood to read any of them these days.
However, I'm still playing Chrono Trigger DS. You'll know something's seriously wrong if I stop playing it before finishing all these Dimensional Vortex runs. In terms of gaming on my 3DS, I have somewhat of a schedule. Once I'm done with the Dimensional Vortex runs, it'll be back to Bravely Default for a bit of science in figuring out what I can do to send the best Rejuvenation possible, then setting up the Big Pharma build, and finally benchmarking both Big Pharma and Elixir Mammon so I can draw a comparison between the two. Each of those three things will be its own blog post. Then, probably back to Chrono Trigger DS so I can play Arena of the Ages and try to get the last few items I need to get all of Extras Mode unlocked. After that, it'll be the Bravely Default demo, for two reasons. One: I've heard it's a side story and just want to see what it's like, and two: stuff from the demo carries over to each new game you create in the full game, and I might as well have that stuff available. I don't really have anything planned for after that. It kinda depends on game releases (i.e. whenever we get Bravely Second in the US). I've been flirting with the idea of grabbing a copy of Mario Kart 7...
Also, because of the affordable health care act and the fact I was unemployed last year, I have a big fat tax refund headed my way, so I may splurge on a New 3DS (red, of course). We'll see. People say that the face-tracking stereoscopic 3D works amazingly well, and I kind of want to experience Ridge Racer 3D with the stereoscopic 3D actually turned on. I've never been great at keeping the system in the sweet spot, and I'm one of those types that moves the controller around a bunch when playing racing games, so the images were always splitting for me.
As a bonus, after system transferring from my current 3DS to the hypothetical New 3DS, I could streetpass myself Mississippi finally. I could also set up the thing I wanted to set up in Bravely Default that requires a second 3DS, wherein I can streetpass myself a specific Nemesis whenever I want. One 3DS would hold them and I'd swap around the one that's set to Send, and then I'd streetpass and go fight it on the other. What I don't know is if I'd have to purchase a second copy of the game for that to work. If I do, I'm just going to buy it from the eShop. No sense in having two physical copies of the same game. (ha ha, this is being said by the guy that owns three physical copies of Chrono Trigger, all on different systems)
Also, I failed to mention in my last post that I haven't read any manga since November of last year. I still get the RSS updates from the manga reader website that I read things on, and I've bought and been gifted physical volumes of manga, but I haven't touched any of it. I have no explanation for this. I still like all the things I was reading, but I never get in the mood to read any of them these days.
However, I'm still playing Chrono Trigger DS. You'll know something's seriously wrong if I stop playing it before finishing all these Dimensional Vortex runs. In terms of gaming on my 3DS, I have somewhat of a schedule. Once I'm done with the Dimensional Vortex runs, it'll be back to Bravely Default for a bit of science in figuring out what I can do to send the best Rejuvenation possible, then setting up the Big Pharma build, and finally benchmarking both Big Pharma and Elixir Mammon so I can draw a comparison between the two. Each of those three things will be its own blog post. Then, probably back to Chrono Trigger DS so I can play Arena of the Ages and try to get the last few items I need to get all of Extras Mode unlocked. After that, it'll be the Bravely Default demo, for two reasons. One: I've heard it's a side story and just want to see what it's like, and two: stuff from the demo carries over to each new game you create in the full game, and I might as well have that stuff available. I don't really have anything planned for after that. It kinda depends on game releases (i.e. whenever we get Bravely Second in the US). I've been flirting with the idea of grabbing a copy of Mario Kart 7...
Also, because of the affordable health care act and the fact I was unemployed last year, I have a big fat tax refund headed my way, so I may splurge on a New 3DS (red, of course). We'll see. People say that the face-tracking stereoscopic 3D works amazingly well, and I kind of want to experience Ridge Racer 3D with the stereoscopic 3D actually turned on. I've never been great at keeping the system in the sweet spot, and I'm one of those types that moves the controller around a bunch when playing racing games, so the images were always splitting for me.
As a bonus, after system transferring from my current 3DS to the hypothetical New 3DS, I could streetpass myself Mississippi finally. I could also set up the thing I wanted to set up in Bravely Default that requires a second 3DS, wherein I can streetpass myself a specific Nemesis whenever I want. One 3DS would hold them and I'd swap around the one that's set to Send, and then I'd streetpass and go fight it on the other. What I don't know is if I'd have to purchase a second copy of the game for that to work. If I do, I'm just going to buy it from the eShop. No sense in having two physical copies of the same game. (ha ha, this is being said by the guy that owns three physical copies of Chrono Trigger, all on different systems)
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